Maui Wedding Gratuity Etiquette

Should you tip at your Maui wedding? That's a question a lot of our couples will ask us about our different wedding vendors. Should we tip them? Tipping is ALWAYS appropriate for those who perform your wedding. Whenever you receive great service, it is always a nice gesture to tip those who are serving you. I've talked to our wedding venders and believe me, they always appreciate it when they are complimented for their service to you with a tip.

It is expected today to tip the bell hop, the taxi or limo driver, the man who parks your car, and the food server. But most people simply don't think about it at their wedding, simply because no one reminds them that it shows good form when you communicate how much you loved the service you received at your wedding. If you tip someone who parks your car or grabs your bags at the airport for a few moments, how much more should you think about tipping those who perform your wedding?

Think about the level of service that they will be giving you. Your wedding providers will probably carry all sorts of supplies and equipment to your wedding site. They'll bring their own video equipment (and tripods), photography equipment, musical instruments, tables and chairs, flowers, etc. to your wedding site. If your wedding is on the beach, they are risking the exposure to the sun, the sand, and the ocean (and believe me that is a VERY real risk as I've had waves splash my cameras and cause damage, and of course little grains of sand have a way of getting everywhere into our expensive electronic equipment).

When you are outside at a wedding, you will be under the hot sun. Photographers and videographers often accidentally kick rocks, back up for a photo shot and fall over partially buried rocks, or step into holes on the beach and fall down with their expensive equipment in hand. It really involves a lot of work and a lot of risk for your wedding providers. A lot more than it takes for someone to park your car at one of the resorts.

The reality is only about one couple in ten (if that) tips their wedding providers. It seems that the older a couple, the more likely they will tip, while younger couples are usually oblivious about gratuities. I'm sure its just because they haven't learned the way the world works yet. Every wedding vendor I know has served their couples at some really large extravagant weddings with lots of extras work, and they have to bend over backwards to solve problems that the couples or their guests have created, and then they walk away with nothing but a "thank you" (if that) for all of their hard work and service.

How much should you tip? Couples often ask us how much they should tip the vendors. At a restaurant, I've heard it said that at least 20 percent of your food order is "appropriate." When you're already paying a lot for your wedding, that might seem a bit high to you. But when you consider the amount of work and service that you will be receiving, such a figure is certainly quite appropriate. Dropping someone a five dollar bill would be an insult. Make the tip appropriate to the amount of time and service that you are receiving.

Because many young couples offend without meaning to when they give, let me make some suggestions about how NOT to tip. Don't tip one wedding service provider in front of another servant, letting them see you do this, unless you are also planning to tip the second service provider as well. This is rude to the vendor you are not tipping -- its like a slap in the face.

Don't ask a vendor if they have change for a large bill, so you can tip another vendor (and then not give anything to the person who gave you change). Believe it or not, I've seen this done. Again, it is an insult to the one who is not tipped, because you've it is made so obvious that you are tipping, but then don't give anything to the one who gives you the change.

Don't ask for change, it puts everyone in a difficult situation. The best way to tip is to plan it out ahead of time. Some grooms have a number of bills in their pocket which they can pull out without looking at the denomination. Many couples will put their gratuities in envelops with the names of the different vendors on them (i.e., "Maui photographer", "Maui minister", "Maui wedding coordinator", "Maui limo driver", "Maui musician", "Maui hair dresser", etc.). This makes everything nice and neat. No one is forgotten and no one is embarrassed. And if you receive bad or rude service, then simply withhold the gratuity from the offending wedding service provider.

By having envelopes, you don't have to fumble with a wallet or purse. Some couples will put a note in the envelop, thanking the different Maui wedding service providers. This way, you can give the gratuity graciously, without fanfare. Believe me, your Maui wedding service providers will appreciate your thoughtful attention to detail.

Most of our Maui wedding services providers will graciously accept a gratuity and simply put it immediately in their pocket. The last thing that they will do is to look at it (i.e., to see how much). They will say thank you, and wish you the best as they leave. Most of the wedding services providers will say "good bye" to their couples, in essence announcing their departure, giving the couple an opportunity to provide a gratuity.

It is best to give your gratuity simply, without making a lavish show by it. Your goal is to compliment, not to make anyone uncomfortable. It's nice when the groom shakes your hand and he has his tip in it or a small envelope and says something like, "Here's a little something for you. Thanks for your making our Maui wedding so special."

When should you give it? At the end of their service. At some larger weddings, the couples might assign a best man, or one of the fathers to make certain that everyone receives their gratuity. If you forget to give one of your gratuities, you can always give it to your coordinator to pass along. But again, be absolutely certain if you do this that you have also tipped your Maui wedding coordinator. Nothing is more rude than to be called upon to dispense tips to other vendors when you are not receiving one yourself.